I know that it can be incredibly scary to allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your feelings. However, if you want a long-lasting relationship you need to be able to express your inner thoughts and feelings to your partner, and be able to listen to his/her wants and needs.
Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” If the worst that could happen is to have your love leave you then you need to be brave so that doesn’t happen. You need to take down your emotional wall and open up about your wants, needs, and desires. You need to allow yourself to be vulnerable or you will create exactly what you fear. You will cause him/her to leave you.
Real intimacy takes time to establish. It involves trust and mutually feeling safe to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Which means allowing healthy self-disclosure without fearing being betrayed or misunderstood, or having it thrown back in your face during an argument. It involves respect, tolerance, and always sharing how you feel—no secrets. In a truly intimate relationship, your partner will help you feel safe, loved, appreciated, and emotionally supported.
If you’re having a hard time opening up start by sharing that with your partner. Say something like, “It’s really hard for me to share my feelings but you’re important to me so I’d like to try.” A truly loving partner will be patient with you and help you feel more comfortable. If that’s not the case then you may be in the wrong relationship.
Emotional intimacy is about knowing the good, the bad, the silly, and the ugly and loving each other anyway—unconditionally. It’s about having each other’s backs. It’s about never criticizing, punishing, or saying mean things that can damage your relationship. A long-lasting relationship can never be achieved without real intimacy.